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Every Day: Personal revelation puts a new face on 'perfect' life
By ROB PAYNE
For Williamson A.M.
I used to think Kirk had everything.
He lived in San Jose, the heart of Silicon Valley. He was president of a lucrative high-tech firm in a fast-paced, exciting industry. He was smart. He was 30-something. He had a very nice car.
He was the ''gadget guru'' even more so than I was. He wore a headset for telephone calls in his office. He had the latest personal organizer and always had the smallest cell phone of anyone I knew. He had a staff of hexheads coming up with the coolest new things they could do on the Internet.
And I thought I was good at being functional. Kirk got things done. He was the king of the one word response.
I keep talking about Kirk in the past tense because I used to work with Kirk back when I was working outside of Marcy. The company I was with was one of Kirk's vendors. Since he was in California and we were in Tennessee, 98% of our correspondence was via e-mail.
I would send him pages of rationale and explanation for our advertising proposals, often posting backup and layouts on a Web site for him to step through. He would e-mail a response with only two letters: ''Go!''
I know he liked our work because he kept using us. There are plenty of places in California where he could get acceptable creative work, but he kept coming back to us. But because of Kirk's curtness, I often wondered if he liked me.
He wasn't rude, he just didn't waste any words. And he was always a gracious host. He always invited me to their annual trade meeting and included us in their activities. In 2001, Marcy was able to go with me to Las Vegas to his industry convention. Though Marcy was in a wheelchair by then, they were able to talk her into going in the Richard Petty Driving School race car for a ride-along with a professional race car driver. A few laps around the Las Vegas Motor Speedway at 140 miles an hour is literally breathtaking. If not our favorite time away together, that trip to Las Vegas is at the top of our list.
I know Kirk is still the same in many ways, but many things have changed.
As Marcy and I have grown since her diagnosis, we have realized that many of the things we once worshipped just aren't important. Sometimes I think that the things I am learning are new to everyone, not just new to me. I am still so self centered that I think about my taking the first step. I don't see that I am actually stepping onto a train that has many, many people already on board and going to same place that I am going.
We started sending e-mail updates to friends and business contacts soon after Marcy's diagnosis in August of 2000. Kirk is on that list. This month I received an e-mail from Kirk thanking me for keeping him on Marcy's e-mail list. He shared a very personal situation in his life that shows me we are on the same train together.
I used to think he had everything. Now I know he has everything both worldly and beyond.
If you know a family in need, consider giving a little of yourself share something personal with them. It's a gift that you won't mind if they return.
Every Day Is Precious is a column to remind us to treat everyone we see today as if it could be the last time we see them. It is written by Rob Payne, whose wife, Marcy, was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in August 2000. Now 40 years old, she has gone from winning 5 and 10K races to being quadriplegic and on a ventilator at home. For more ways to help others, to find more about Marcy, or to receive e-mail updates on her condition, visit www.EveryDayIsPrecious.com. Readers may contribute to her care by sending donations to Every Day Is Precious, 2051 Harvington Drive, Franklin, TN 37069. If you have helped someone without being asked, or know of someone who has, share it with others. Send to rob@everydayisprecious.com or to Every Day Is Precious, 2051 Harvington Drive, Franklin, TN 37069.
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